Hanging On

7/21/2013

Hanging On

I have been bouncing up and down as predictably as a Yo-Yo for quite a while now.  Part of the hiking day, I spend asserting boldly to myself that I am going all the way.....that nothing short of injury will possibly stop me now.
The other part of the day, I spend telling myself that hiking up one more damn hill is totally nuts.  That I could be home in Minnesota right now....sitting in the shade by a lake, sipping cold lemonade and watching the waves roll onto the shore.....instead of working my way up these rocks and over these roots..... on this mountain goat path..... up this mountain....whatever mountain it happens to be.....and of course it's starting to rain....so the lightning will probably get here just as I am finally reaching the summit of Killington Mountain.....or Stratton Mountain....or of course Bear Mountain.
(I believe that each of the 14 states on the AT has it's own Bear Mountain, and that I have been up 12 of them .....with the one in New Hampshire and the one in Maine waiting to be climbed)).

 I could get a ride to the Rutland Airport....fly somewhere....transfer....and be on a plane headed to the Twin Cities before the day is over.  I know that airport is down there. I saw it yesterday.....or was it the day before, from up on the top. 

The weather has been hot.  The mosquitoes have been bad.  The Black flies...Deer flies....Horse flies...and the plain old regular flies, all want a piece of the action.... me.

This Yo-Yo ing....all the way.....done today....is exactly me.  I knew it would come, before I ever started this hike.  I love the notion of hiking from Georgia to Maine.  I just absolutely love the romance of it.  The only problem is that to get from Georgia to Maine, you have to go up a hell of a lot of hills..... and then you go back down a hell of a lot of hills.   And the romance does not carry you along....your legs do. 

I have been hanging on.....riding the string... spinning.....waiting for the "Whites".  If I can just hold on and make it to the White Mountains.  The "Whites" are amazing....spectacular....one of the absolute high points of the whole hike.  You spend a lot of time up high, above the tree line.  Climbing The White Mountains is just really really cool.  Of course, it is also really hard.  Am I ready for it?  Can I do it?  Did I come this far...... 1700 miles..... to run out of legs and will ?  I guess that is it....is it not?  Do I have the will and the legs to get to the top?

 Yes.  That is it.  If you truly want to reach the top of whatever mountain it is... that you happen to be climbing..... you are probably going to have to work really hard to get up there.....  You are going to have to earn it.  In earning it comes the joy of reaching the top.  It is that simple. 

I am getting close.  The Whites are up there.  They are waiting for me.  I am excited and scared...Yo-yoing....scared and excited. 

 My plan is to recognize my limitations.  I am tired....  My mind is tired....my body is tired.  So I am going to slow down a bit (yes even slower), and I am going to rest more often.....and I am going to the "Whites".  I hope to get to them a little more rested, a little stronger.  I want to enjoy the experience.  I do not want it to be just another damn hill.
I am at a lodge right now.  I have eaten real food....and I went swimming this afternoon.  The Trail is right by the lake.  I will be on it tomorrow.  I am going to finish Vermont and hike into New Hampshire!
I want to know how far I can go!